Sometimes life feels like you’re waving your hands at God… but He’s just not looking.

You’re trying.
You’re pushing.
You’re doing everything in your power.

And still — nothing moves.
Everyone else seems to be moving ahead: career, relationships, life.
But you? You feel stuck in the same spot for years.

That’s exactly how I’ve felt too.
And maybe my story will make you feel a little less alone.

My first job after MBA (Where it all began)

After my MBA in 2016, I got placed in a corporate job.
Basic pay, average role.
Nothing glamorous. Just work.

But the culture?
Toxic.
I was a misfit from day one.
I knew I could do it… but I could never live with it.
So I quit exactly 1 year later.

Not because I had a plan.
Only because I couldn’t lie to myself.

Trying something new… with zero backup

I moved to makeup. Not because I dreamed about it, but because I used to do makeup in my hostel.

I got hired as an assistant to a celebrity makeup artist.
But I wasn’t doing makeup.

I was packing bags. Cleaning brushes. Standing invisible in the corner.

Was I humbled?
Yes.
Too much, honestly.

I did that for a year, learned everything I could…
Then walked away again.

Bridal Makeup Phase

So I switched again.
I started doing bridal makeup — alone.
No team. No savings. Just my talent.

I would finish 4 people’s makeup in one day, come home exhausted but genuinely happy.
It was peaceful. Satisfying.

But after a year…
That itch came back.
I wanted creativity, variety, growth.
Bridal makeup didn’t give me that.

So again… I moved.

The YouTube Roller Coaster

I invested all my savings in lights, setup, editing tools — everything.
I changed my room setup. I learned filming.
But something was missing.

The satisfaction I used to feel when I made someone else look beautiful — I wasn’t getting that from filming myself.

But I had invested too much to go back.
So I told that inner voice to shut up.
Kept pushing.
Kept trying.

Simmy Said WHATT?!

2021 came.
And something finally clicked.

My podcast Simmy Said WHATT?! blew up.
I finally felt seen.
Heard.
Appreciated.

And then Season 2 began.
Everything went wrong.
Editing issues. Location issues.
Hard drive corruption.
Everything fell apart.

I fought back.
Restarted.
Tried again.
And again.
But it just wouldn’t happen.

So I shut it down.

Not because I was declining.
But because the universe literally blocked every exit.

Feeling like I haven't even started yet

People around me said:
“You peaked. It’s okay, this career comes and goes.”

But I haven’t even started yet.

I’ve tried things for a year or two, given everything I had…
and still felt like something wasn’t settling.

And I know there are many people like me —
Who don’t know what will give them that joy, that meaning, that spark.

Privilege? Yes. Honesty? Also yes.

I know I come from a privileged background.
I acknowledge it.
I own it.

Because of that privilege, the only responsibility my parents gave me is:
“Take care of yourself. Be happy.”

So my job is:
Not money.
Not fame.
Not stability.

Just: to do what makes me happy.

End of 2023 — lowest point

I tried restarting YouTube.
That didn’t work either.

I felt like I failed.
Not just publicly… personally.

I searched for stories of people like me.
People who tried everything and still didn’t get recognized.

And I realized:
There are such people.
They exist.
They survive.
They stay hopeful.

If you feel stuck too… this is for you

Maybe you feel invisible right now.
Maybe God hasn’t noticed you yet.
Maybe your turn hasn’t come.

But someone else’s time arriving doesn’t mean yours won’t.

Every year you’re trying…
You’re showing up…
That matters.

We are not failures.

We are people who haven’t found “our thing” yet.

And honestly?
That’s okay.

You and I?
We just don’t give up.

I don’t know where my next chapter is.
I don’t know what I will do.
Maybe I fail again.
Maybe I fall flat on my face.

But I will try.
And I hope you will too.

Because someday, God will look your way.

He’ll call your number.
And everything you endured will make sense.

Till then?

One rule:

We don’t stop trying!

❤️ Simmy Goraya